Is There Something on my Face?

So I met my blind date. Being the demanding, selfish diva I am I requested a place 5 minutes from my house at a lake so I could at least have my dog exercised if the date was a flop. I brought a glass of wine for myself in a water bottle to get me through. In my defense I also brought him a can of Lucky in a Sprite can cover. Within 2 minutes I knew he was different. He didn't give me the up down look, or at least didn't get caught doing it, he offered to help me with my handful of a dog and his truck was filthy. I seem to have a thing for dirty duallys, or clean trucks, whatever. I had a great time talking to him, he threw a stick for my dog, we skipped rocks, and not once was I creeped out at all.
When he invited me to his house for blender drinks I jumped at the offer. Again, I had a great time with him. We hung out in the sun, chatted, ate. We had really similar values and outlooks. He didn't seem to be too bothered by the loaf of garlic bread I inhaled. This was going well! Too well...he must be unavailable somehow.
I had one too many blender drinks to drive, and when he said my dog and I were both welcome to spend the night I said yes. Eventually we went to his king sized bed and slept., or passed out. As I said, there were many blender drinks. In the morning I left to meet my lunch plans. He hugged me good bye, we exchanged numbers and he invited me back to his place that afternoon. All without ever kissing me, that hug was the only time he touched me at all. What. The. F*CK?
I was confused. Was there something on my face? Had I said something wrong? Was it just a pity invite and was he just not that into me? Who knows how this one is going to turn out...

Oh You Aren't Available? Then I want you!

Every once and a while I will admit that I am single because I am a little self sabotaging. I am instantly attracted to the most unavailable men. I had gone to a girlfriends Birthday dinner and sat beside her very cute brother. He was funny, nice, sweet, cute, absolutely everything I am looking for. We spent the whole night chatting, laughing and when I left I wanted to see him again. I ended up messaging my friend a few hours later and asked her to give him my number. He messaged me. We texted constantly for the next few days, but here's the thing: He lives in Alberta. He has a home there, a career there, a child there, and a crazy ex wife who will always be in his life there. After a few weeks I broke off our SMS relationship. He's not available in person, so he's not available.
A few days after that I was relaxing in the hot tub at my gym (I joined a gym for the year round heated outdoor pool and hot tub), when I spied a SUPER hot guy working out. At first I judged a little, he was wearing a V-neck T-shirt, but when he got into the hot tub sans V-neck all was forgiven. We made eye contact, he smiled, and I knew instantly he was perfect for me. I spent the next couple of days telling all my friends about how hot V-neck and how I was going to see him again. And I did see him again, on the internet, in an article about Canada's first Bachelor, the TV show. Yes, another very unavailable man I was attracted to.
One sunny Sunday shortly after I was enjoying reading "If He's Not the One, Who Is?!" poolside, getting good use of my gym membership, minding my own business when a cute, young boy approached me. He asked me to join his friend and him for a drink. As I turned to look at him I removed my ridiculously over sized sunglasses. I knew this kid! Of course I did!! Not only am I attracted to unavailable men, I attract inappropriate ones. While I did accept the invitation and have a great time enjoying beverages in the sun with him and his cute, also very young, friend, I knew the universe was trying to tell me something. Three such events so close together just drove it home: I'm done with dating...again.
Well, until next weekend, I did just agree to a blind date next...

Catch Up

Oh hello, it's been a while...

I had written a few posts, but never pressed publish. I was scared too. Scared to let the guy I was seeing know who I really was I guess. But I'm back, again. So here you go, more stories of my hardships and unfortunate dating life. The next couple of posts aren't recent, but they are how I got to where I am today, so they've got to be posted. I've poured a glass of wine, honest, just one, and now I'm pressing publish.

Have fun playing catch up, I know I am ;)

What Should I have Said?

As a single girl I get all sorts of messages. Let me give you a sample from a Facebook Friend:

Feb 22: Hey beautiful (Me, no response)
Mar 11: U were looking really good the other day sexy! Hope all is well? We should have a drink or grab something to eat sometime? Well talk to you later. Cheers (I had driven through his work parking lot with my brother and waved. I did not respond to this message)
Mar 14: Hello sexy! (Again, I shockingly did not answer)
Apr 2: Hello ***... You never return my messages beautiful? Are we still homies or what? Lol what's ur number ? Get back to me for once would ya... 250-***-**** hope all is well?
Cheers **** (This time I answered with:)
Apr 2: They're just usually inappropriate, so I ignore them.

Was I offside? Getting messages from someone you used to work with calling you beautiful and sexy and asking me for a drink or something to eat just weirds me out.  I'm not at all interested in him, so what should I have said? Was ignoring them the wrong thing to do? I've gotten others that I've ignored too, 6 just as uncomfortable in the last 2 months from others. I thought not answering was just like not making eye contact and walking away in real life. Wrong? Obviously. Why do they send these messages in the first place?! If someone knows what I've been doing to attract unwanted messages from people I thought were friends please let me know. I'd love to stop such behavior. Like on Saturday...

I went out with a girl friend to eat some pub fare and play music bingo. (BYOBD next time! Bring your own Bingo Dabbers!) We were having a good time, talking about how our exes are ridiculous, debating whether I should message a guy or wait for him to process recent events, discovering we both went out with the same (really nice but we just weren't attracted to him) guy we met on a dating website, just generally enjoying our Saturday night. Then, WHAMMO, this guy came up to the table and starting talking to us. I knew him, well, I knew his twin brother. I told him I knew his brother, yet he still hung out at our table for hours! It was a little entertaining for a while but his friends were wasted, one fell asleep at a table, and that's not the night we were into. My friend drove home (she only had 2 drinks all night, amazing will power!) and I walked home with my dog (yes, he does come everywhere). As I carried my gold glittery heels in one hand and flowers from a drunk stranger in the other I wondered, what made him sit there ALL night with us? Neither one of us waved him over, neither one of us were leaving with him, so why? Our fine city has six women to every man, did he not know this? Or were we just that fabulous? What vibe do we put off to attract this? What should I have said to make him not stay there all night? (Even though he did help out a little at music bingo, and his drunk friend did buy us flowers and stuffed animals that our dogs loved! ha!) Is there rules? Is there a script? Did I miss a memo?!

As I sit here, alone with my dog, drinking a glass of wine, I can't help but think of all the things I wish I had said to men in the past. From "F*ck Off" to "I'm Sorry" I should have said it all, but I haven't always been that open. I never regret anything that made me smile, so I don't regret not saying these things, but boys be warned: I'll now be telling you exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. Never ask a question you don't want the answer too...

Lost in Translation

So what I say is not always what I mean. Shocking huh? Since I'm a big believer in actions speaking louder than words I just assume people know what I'm thinking and feeling. Aren't you all mind readers?! Now I do agree, sometimes I'm pushing it. How is anyone supposed to know that an invite to my Birthday dinner was actually me asking why we don't spend more nights together? But some are pretty obvious, I thought... So, here's a little translation of my more commonly used phrases just so we're all on the same page.

What I Say	What I Mean
"Sure, what ever you want."	"Seriously?! Fine, but I'm going to remember this..."
"I need a snack."	"I need food NOW, or someone will DIE, and you're closest."
"Hopefully you can meet my friends."	"I want more of you in my life and can't wait for my friends to think you're as great as I do!"
"What are you doing this weekend?"	"You better not be going out with another girl."
"I could have a cocktail!"	"I may get wasted. I'm single, why not?!"
"I'm tired."	"I need food NOW, or someone will DIE, and you're closest."
"I want to go to Vegas."	"I'm going to Vegas."
"Go away."	"I'm so done with you and your sh*t if I see you on the road I will run you down."
"Isn't Mac the cutest?"	"My dog is #1 in my life, don't try to change that, ever."
"I need a hot tub."	"I need a hot tub, a massage, and a snack, immediately."
"I'm fine."	"If you can't figure it out read my Twitter feed, ugggg."
"I should eat..."	"I need food NOW, or someone will DIE, and you're closest."

So I get hungry. Big deal. I carry snacks in my purse because of it. I know I should be more open and say what I mean instead of just thinking and acting it, perhaps in 2013. This year is just so jam packed already. In the mean time: I should eat!