Fast Forward

I wanted to write what I did for the last year while I was MIA. While I was in Boyfriend Land, lots of things happened. I went to Stampede, to the Ranchion in Kelowna, I spent another weekend in Toronto for the Rally for Kids with Cancer, I went to the Mansion in LA for Halloween again (we were Lumberjacks this year!) and I had a California Christmas with a Las Vegas mission. Strangely none of those adventures involved my wonderful, fabulous Boyfriend. He did take me camping, fishing and out on the lake quite a few times, and I loved it all, but that's not what this is about. This is about why I'm skipping the year...
I wanted my stuff from him after we broke up. I had asked my friend to get it for me but he said no, he was going to drop it off. He didn't. He texted me regularly just to check in. He called, I'm sure just to torment me, but still, no stuff! It's not like anything I had there couldn't be replaced. It was mostly camping stuff, a jacket, and another dog bed. (I live in 600 square feet, as if I need three dog beds, he sleeps with me usually!) I just wanted my things to be out of his house. As long as he had my things I sickly thought there was still a chance we would get back together. Then one day I snapped...here's the back story on the snap show:
One weekend I hosted a little get together at his place and he had a guest sit on his lap. He was very drunk, sure, but did that excuse the fact he was hitting on this chick right in front of me? He had her all cuddled up on his lap, promising her boat rides for her Birthday. It was bad enough he was acting like that, but also a little ridiculous she sat there, apparently enjoying it all. So, when I saw pictures of them together after we broke up I instantly knew something had happened between them. (I wasn't the only one with this instant reaction). Sure we weren't together, he could do what, and whom, he wanted. If he decided he felt like Cougar, that was his choice and I had no right to be upset. But I was, because my stuff was still at his house!! This wasn't when I snapped though.
I completely snapped the day I saw them become FB friends. It was about mid morning, he was at work, and he doesn't have a data plan...so I knew he had requested her friendship and she had just accepted it. There it was, in my news feed, "The Trampy Coug and Your Amazing Ex You Wanted To Get Back Together With are now friends". Within 5 minutes of seeing that I texted him saying I was coming for my stuff, that day after work. That was the snapping point.
When I arrived I knocked and walked back toward my car. He opened the door. I couldn't even look at him. He asked me how I like his new truck. I sort of just shook my head. He said "I didn't think you would." Was he retarded?? It was a huge old Dodge. Of course I liked it. But I was not going to let him know that! And why would he care if I did? And did he not know me at all?? No, he absolutely did not know me...but that's another story. He asked me if I really was blogging about him. Um, yes. And it wasn't even bad! All I had written about was our great first date. I had made him sound like a Prince, because at that point, I thought he was.
As I crammed all sorts of things I didn't really need into my car I thanked him for returning my precious (totally replaceable) belongings. He walked to his door as I got into the car and stopped and turned and asked me if that was all. I asked him what he wanted me to say. He told me I could at least say good bye. I realized I had said Good Bye months ago, just not to his face, or to myself.
As I closed my door he pouted and walked into his house in a huff. I reminded myself that he's a total people pleaser. He can't stand to have people unhappy with him. I think he wanted to be friends. He just LOVES staying friends with his exes. (Especially the married ones...again, another classy story). But you can't be friends with someone you've never had a friendship with. He went from stranger, to my boy friend, then back to stranger. How did he think that I could have anything more to say to him? My stuff was out of his life, and so was I.