The No Commitment Commitment

TBM and I spent most of the day together. He helped me with some errands, and went for lunch. He got the truck door for me. I pretty much floated around I was so happy. He's so easy to be around, I'm never anxious around him and I can totally be myself. I really like it. But what is "it"? I, of course, like to label things so I started thinking about it. We went back to my house and he had a nap before my staff party. We got ready and headed up the mountain to have some dinner.
He was the perfect date. He dressed well, talked to people, got my drinks, was all around charming. It was so nice spending time with him in a social environment. We don't usually go out other than today. The staff party was pretty uneventful, I don't think anyone even danced, so we left pretty early. TBM took me to one of his friends party. I was someones date! I was someones date that I like!!
I spent the night at his house, and he made me breakfast in the morning. We had a lazy Sunday just hanging out and napping. This led to some conversations, one in particular about commitment. He brought up how he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Ouch. Going on he says he doesn't want to commit. Then, the topper, he said he could commit to sleeping with only me. At first I thought I was OK with this. I planned on relaxing and enjoying the time we spent together, but then I though WTF? This sounds more like he doesn't want a title, and doesn't want to title me. And why I am not worthy of the title, specifically title of Girl Friend?
I've been writing this for days now. I don't want to post it until after I talk to him about it again, because I know he'll read it. And so last week when he took me out for dinner I brought it up. Huge for me, I know! I told him I was having problems posting it and wanted to talk about it first. I really appreciate his honesty, and how he can tell me exactly what he wants (or in this case, doesn't want) I also have a really good time with him. He's told me he has a good time with me too, but... Ya, there's always a but! We had the same conversation again, and I told him, again, I'm OK with the no commitment commitment he is able to commit to, because I am, for now. I absolutely don't want to see anyone else, but... (told you there was always a but) I can't do this forever. I'm not going to pressure him into a title, or giving me a title, I'm actually going to just enjoy the time we spend together. I'm not a needy girl and I need to stop acting and thinking like one. I'm independent, sometimes too independent. I want to be with someone, and title it, but I don't have to do that right now.
So why haven't I posted this after almost 2 weeks? I just haven't convinced my self that I really am OK with it. It's one thing to say and know that not having a title is fine, and for the best right now, but my heart just can't accept it. CB asked me if I'd rather have half of something or all of nothing, and that definitely helped my head be even more OK with my hearts situation. I talked to him about this AGAIN last night with the same result, obviously, he really just wants to be single. As long as he's going to be single with me I'll live. I'll take my half of something, and enjoy it.

I LOVE My Friends

Social media is the devil. I don't like to be Facebook friends with people I don't know very well. I use the limited profile for business contacts and anyone else I just get to know the real them first, and they me, then I add. I added The Bed Maker after another great day with him. It's a pretty big thing for me, but I took the step and let him see my profile.
He came over for dinner the day after, and mentioned he found my blog. Damn. It's my own fault. I should have never added the link on my profile. My friends know the stories first hand, so it wasn't a big deal if they read it. Having him read it though...little different. He was different, and quiet for most of the night. So was I. I couldn't stop my thinking about what he read, how he interpreted it, how he reacted. I felt pretty bad. Then I realized, I was having a feeling! I don't seem to care about men very much. I haven't dated anyone since I lived in Toronto almost two years ago. I would like to blame the West Coast Men, but at some point I'll have to admit: its me. I really can't stand the thought of being hurt, ever again. This makes me so guarded no one knows how I feel, including me. Usually this facade works well, I have fun, I work hard, I play harder, I find new fun elsewhere before I let myself get attached. The cycle continues. I don't know how long I could go on like this for but I think it should stop. The sound of his voice when he brought it up made me realize my walls don't just affect me, they affect the people in my life. He definitely doesn't deserve that.
I did what all girls do today and asked my girl friends what they thought. Here is what they said, and my responses now that I've had time to ponder their amazingly honest and appreciated comments:

CB: "It sounds like you're dating three guys and not happy with any of them, but like The Friend most"
Me: Hmm, yes it does after a second read. Perception really is everything, and I didn't see it till after, but it's the first thing CB thought. Since I've met TBM he's the only person I've seen, or wanted to see. I've stayed up way too late and gotten up way to early just to spend a few hours with him. No where did I say that, I just knew it. Did I just expect him to read my mind? Apparently.

KB: "You met a boy you can hang out with more than twice?"
Me: Yes I did, and I have nooooo idea what to do about it. At this point I'm thinking talking to friends was a flawed plan. No one quite knows how to take me when I'm trying to be serious and talk feelings.

LA: "He helps you make the bed in the morning, that's why I named him The Bed Maker. He makes you laugh, and you both have fun. No guy that makes your bed, laughs and has fun is really going to care too much about what you wrote in a blog."
Me: Sure hope so. He did say he wasn't going to read it ever again, but that doesn't make what he did read go away. Why is it such a big deal to me that he helps me make my bed, and dinner, and empty my dishwasher? The simple things really do matter I guess. Diamonds do too though, lets never forget that.

LC: "He's hot."
Me: Yes, he is, stop creeping him on FB please.

What have I learned from this weekend? Mimosa's are bottomless on Sundays, my friends are amazing and I need them more than they'll ever know, and I actually like The Bed Maker. Enough to put myself out there and see where it goes with him? We'll just have to wait and see, but I'm going to try. I did invite him to my staff Christmas function, that's something...

Life After Fishing

I did it! I deleted my online dating profile. Not because I met the man of my dreams, not because I'm even seeing someone, just because it had to be done. After months and months of terrible messages I'm very glad it's over. I had set the criteria so only users within my parametres could message me, but they still managed to get by it. I was looking for someone who was single, within 10 km's, and no children. I would daily get messages from men and after a few responses back and forth they'd end up saying they're separated, thier kids only are with them on weekends, and they live in Naniamo. What?? Why would you think I was interested in getting to know someone who couldn't tell the truth on simple questions like: "Marital Status" or "Do You Have Children?"
I guess my online experience hasn't been a complete waste of time. I did meet Five Minutes Late and The Bed Maker. I still talk to both of these sweet guys but of course it's gone no where with either. I'm obviously expecting too much from men in general. I mean, what kind of selfish girl wants to go out on a real date and not just come over to your house at 11:00pm to hang out?
I have been talking to The Friend quite a bit lately. He also is a guy who likes to just watch movies and sit around at night. I can't say I blame him too much as he doesn't want The Non BF to know about our involvement. So when I texted him on Friday night imagine my surprise when I got a message back from a number not stored in my phone saying: "I'm with (The Friend). What's with the text??" Ummm, uh oh! I had deleted The Non BF's number months ago so I wouldn't drunk dial, so when I replied with "Who is this?" he got a little upset. Apparently The Non was holding The Friends phone at the exact time I messaged him. I ended up sending a few messages back and forth between the both of them. I also had to re read them all in the morning to make sure I hadn't said anything I'd regret. I'm still a little hurt about The Non, but I definitely don't want to do anything worse to jeopardise their friendship. I know it's not my friendship to ruin, but I do care about both of them. My plan is just deny, deny, deny if The Non BF asks, and to keep seeing The Friend on the sly. Apparently he doesn't suspect anything, and that's pretty funny considering what he does for work. I know if he asked me to my face he would see right through me though. Sigh.
Well, It's holiday party season, time to get out into the real world and meet "The One". Wish me luck

Cake, Breakfast, and Bed Making

The Bed Maker is excellent at using the telephone. He calls when he says he is going to, and calls with no reason! He messages at all the right times, not just when it's good for him. It's amazing to have someone talk to me when it's good for me, not just him. He makes time for me, and has changed plans with his friends so he could see me. I am pretty busy, and since he wanted to see me he changed his plans so he could. I've been to his place a few times and him to mine. It's pretty even, and we have a good time together.

It was his Birthday last week. He went out with some friends for dinner. I found out they didn't get him a cake, or pay for his dinner even! No one should go with out Birthday cake!! I called him Saturday to invite him over for cake. I told him I was making him a Birthday cake and he sounded really excited. He came over and we hung out while the cake baked and cooled. I had made angel food cake and got strawberries and raspberries. we tried to make whipped cream, but since I don't have a hand mixer we tried to use a fork. This was a bad plan. We ended up going to the store and buying a can of whipped cream. While we were there he grabbed breakfast stuff. He had promised me breakfast last weekend but we didn't end up with time for it. He remembered, and followed through on his promise.

So I'm pretty bad at relationships, or at least defining them. So what is my next step? Am I really that girl who over analyzes everything? Should I just relax. I'm panicking because my online dating profile deletion dead line is tomorrow. Maybe I'll just relax and see what happens. How many times have I said this? Anyways, back to my date,

In the morning he made me an awesome breakfast. And he helped me make the bed.

The Bed Maker (TBM)

As my dead line of deleting my online dating profile creeps closer, I exchange messages with another boy. He sent me many messages, all of them more than one sentence. They had solid content, He actually seemed to be trying to get to know me. Eventually we started texting each other. He was away in Arizona and we texted while he was there. We made plans to meet up when he got back . He suggested going indoor rock climbing for our first date. When I mentioned I have climbed before he rescinded, he didn't want to look bad. It was cute. Eventually I propose going bowling in Duncan. He agreed it was a fantastic idea. We sorted out the details and I was looking forward to it. I love road trips, even if they are just to Duncan!

Date day arrives and he messages me all freaked out. It's his first time meeting someone on line and he is worried I'm really an ogre or something. I laughed and sent him a couple pictures from my work email. Now he knows my last name and where I work. I hope he isn't a physco! Apparently he was OK with the pictures I sent and he picks me up right on time and opens the door to his truck for me. (A GMC Sierra, with heated seats!! Awesome!!) During the drive up he was really easy to talk to, he made me laugh, and there were no awkward silences. He asked lots of questions and had no problem answering any of mine. We bowled three games and he let me win the last one. He asked if I wanted to play pool, and I said yes. We ended up at the Log House. They don't have a pool table, but they had drinks. He drove me home and I invited him in for one more drink. I poured it extra strong so he wouldn't be able to drive home. Man I'm sneaky. He opened the car door for me all night, was really polite, listened, told the truth about everything (Even about being married before). I had a great night and just didn't want it to end.

In the morning he was really sweet, still. He made my bed... I always make my bed in the morning, but today he helped me. It was nice having someone help me with something! He also fed Mac and took him outside and played with him while I got ready. All with out me asking. Nice guys do exist!! TBM asked me when he was going to see me again. I told him that was up to him. So he asked me if I wanted to have breakfast Saturday. TBM made plans with me. He wants to see me. I know this was one date, but it was one really good date! As I've wrote this he has messaged me twice and phoned me when he said he would. Wow.

The one thing I hate the most about being single is having to take out my own garbage. I know TBM would take out the garbage for me. Is he too good to be true? Or have I found Mr. Right Now?

Do You Want To Smell My Candles?

I go to bed early, mostly because I have nothing else to do. Also because I get up really early for work. When my phone beeped at 8:30 I was already in bed, but I read it anyway. It was from The Friend. I almost want to rename him now, since The Non Boy Friend is so out of my life The Friend doesn't make sense. I guess he can stay The Friend until he deserves another name.

The Friend was a little drunk, and his messages were cute, flirty and funny. He wanted to go to Wendy's but couldn't drive, so he asked me if I wanted to make bad choices. I asked how a bacon burger could ever be a bad choice, and he explained that he was the bad choice. I laughed and said yes, I'll be right there! I got out of bed and headed to go pick him up, no make up, sweat pants and a hoodie. He got in the car and we headed to Wendy's. He wanted to eat in the restaurant so we went in. I always am very relaxed around him. I never feel stupid or judged. I have fun, and laugh, and he laughs too. We ate and got back in the car. Since we were just a minute from the lagoon I wanted to go down to the water. It was a clear night, and the ocean under the stars is absolutely fantastic.

We pulled into a spot on the lagoon and hung out for a bit. He is so easy to talk to and be around. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I had made a decision not to spend the night with him, ever again, but he wasn't making it easy. Thankfully someone parked right beside us so we left. As I pulled into his condo parking lot I stopped by his door, far away front he parking lot. He asked if I wanted to come in and smell his candles and cuddle. How could I not say yes to that? We went upstairs and laid on his bed. His candles did smell pretty good. I fell asleep in his arms for an hour or so and woke up when he kissed my on the forehead. I told him I was going home, he got up to walk me to the door and kiss me good bye. He said he'd talk to me soon, and I believe him. Of all the guys I know I trust him the most. He isn't fake, he does the things he says he will. He may not want to be my boy friend, but he doesn't pretend to want to be either.

So to answer one of my past questions: Am I only attracted to unavailable men? Yes. But I never regret anything that made me smile.

Is It Me, Or Him?

After three great days together, lots of texts and a couple phone calls I still haven't been on another date with 5 Minutes Late. Why do guys do this? Why can't they just admit they like you and want to spend time with you? Or...if they aren't interested, why do they string you along and have you think there is a chance? Maybe I'm too forward. Is it wrong to just want the truth? So many questions, and no answers.

5 Minutes Late does have some moments of greatness. He showed up at my work, with hot chocolate and we took a walk around the lot. It was nice, and sweet. He did this twice, both times a few hours after he said he would. I know, big surprise, 5 Minutes Late was late. This guy has no ex-wife, no kids, a good job, a house, and he's smart. So what is his flaw? Is it me? Does he just not want a girl friend? Why would someone with everything else so together in their live not want a girl friend to share it all with it? Or am I just not the one for him?

Maybe I'm meeting guys in the wrong places. Or maybe I'm only attracted to unavailable men. As I said before, I'm giving online dating until the end of November, then I'm deleting my profile. I better start leaving the house. In the mean time, help me out with this one question: Is it me, or him?

Halloween, 5 Minutes Late

Three days later, no word from Dodge Guy. Oh well, moving on.

Thursday before I taught my class I met another online profile face to face. We met in the parking lot of the studio on the grounds of Royal Roads. We had planned on taking our dogs for a walk. He arrived five minutes late, in a Chevrolet, with a green tea for me. Our dogs are only a few months apart and about the same size, they were having a pretty good time running around, doing dog type things. 5 Minutes Late didn't seem very interested in me. He spent most of the time talking about our dogs, and so did I. We walked around the grounds for an hour and a half. The campus is beautiful in the fall, a view of the ocean, mountains and an famous castle that's been in tones of movies and TV shows. (Including Smallville, one of my favourites!!) We walked back to the parking lot and he asked if I wanted to get together again. I was a little surprised because he didn't seen too into me. After my class I had a BBM from him asking what I was doing the next night. Of course, nothing, so I gladly made plans to go out for a drink. Not going to lie, I'm a little excited. He's really cute, and did I mention he drives a Chevrolet??

He picked me up, you guessed it, 5 Minutes Late. I'm usually early or on time, so this could drive me crazy. We decide to go for dinner and drinks and head to The Four Mile Pub. I ordered some cheap champagne and a Certified Angus Beef dip ($11)and he ordered spiced rum and ginger and the Fajita Roll up with salmon chowder ($14). Our food came quickly and we both agreed it was delicious. He was really easy to talk to, never an awkward silence, and he made me laugh. He told me I was hard to read. I guess I am a fairly guarded, but I didn't realise I was hard to read. I was definitely having a good time and was really interested in him. The service was great, drinks kept full, dishes removed, friendly server. She even let us know that after they serve three drinks they ask if you are driving. She did it with tact and professionalism, it's a great policy. 5 Minutes Late suggested that we carve pumpkins. Awesome idea!! We finish up and head to the Super Store to pick some up. We went to my house and never ended up carving the pumpkins, but we did drink the rest of my Grey Goose. Time for a trip to duty free!

Saturday morning he BBM'd me and said he would come get me at eleven to go for breakfast. I love going out for breakfast so I was ready on time. He was again late, but I like him, so of course I can't be mad. Plus he brought me season one of The Big Bang Theory to watch. I am easily bribed. We went to Milestones for Benny's and Mimosa's. Can't really go wrong there. Service and food were both fantastic. I rarely say this about restaurants in Victoria, so great work Milestones in Millstream Village. He invited me to his Halloween party he and his sister were throwing that night. I'm not too into parties where I don't know anyone, but I do want to see him so I accept the invite. He messaged me a while after dropping me off at home and asked for my phone number so he could call me instead. A guy who wants to call and talk? Must be a full moon.

His Halloween party ended up being pretty mellow, thank goodness. He spent the right amount of time with me considering I knew no one, but wasn't smothering me. He's pretty great, and I'm wondering how long he can keep it up. We went for breakfast again Sunday morning. I could go on for ever about how tragic the service was at the un-named Langford tap house we ended up at, but this isn't about how slow and un professional the server was, nor is it about how the food took 45 minutes and we were one of two tables, this is about my three day date. He sat at the table after we were done so I could watch my favorite team win for the second time this year, GO NINERS!, then we left. He kissed me good bye in the parking lot and it was just like the last page of a fairy tale. A perfect kiss after three days of greatness, and for once his timing was right, not 5 Minutes Late. Will he call me again? I hope so. We I ever go to that terrible place in the Four Points Sheraton again? Absolutely not.

The Not-So-Terrible Date

I'm REALLY sick of the typical date ideas guys have here. Coffee is not fun, it's sitting still, drinking overpriced swill. Dinner is nice, but most guys I can't stand sitting with for that long. I've decided to take charge of date activities from now on. I decided I wanted to golf, but we live in a rain forest, and it rains here, shocking. A little rain won't stop me from hitting some balls at the driving range though! Right by my work there's a hidden gem of a range. Highland Pacific has two levels at their range, the upper level is great for enjoying sun in the summer, or dry days, and the lower level stalls are heated and covered  for rainy days.

I met Dodge Guy on the lower level today. He's actually cute, and the perfect height. Weird. I'm usually really disappointed as people only put their best pictures online, but I think he put his worst ones on there! He's got great eyes and a nice smile. We hit a bucket of balls, (after 5:30 you get 60 for the price of 45!) he was really easy to talk to and I wasn't annoyed like I usually get after 15 minutes with guys. I'm not a great golfer, but I like it, and I try. I always get worse as the bucket goes on, I really need to take some lessons. I start hitting into the pond. Thankfully the bucket is empty.

Dodge Guy asks if I'm hungry, and suggests we go upstairs to the cafe. I order the Fire Roasted Tomato and Basil soup ($5) and a Ceaser. He ordered the Highland Beef Dip ($11) with ceaser salad and an iced tea. Our food came quickly and looked great, his sandwich was huge! My soup was creamy and served with some multi grain toast, perfect for picking up the pieces of tomato. We ate and talked about our dogs and watched golf highlights on TV. He has a great job, and knows what he wants. I had fun, and want to see him again. He's got my number, lets see if he uses it...

Overall, a great way to forget about a work day. Highland Pacific is a great place to take a date, play a round and they have an event space for parties and meetings.  Book a tee time here and make sure you check out their great range rates and cafe menu next time you have a free hour or two! I hope Dodge Guy calls me...or I'll be taking out my frustrations on buckets (and buckets) of balls!

Happy Hour

My life isn't all bad dates, unavailable men and crazy trips to big cities, just most of it. Sometimes I just go meet my friends and talk about my bad dates, unavailable men and crazy trips. Chelsea and I had both been to Veneto Tapas Lounge before and both had terrible experiences. Lost and bumbled reservations, slow service, and over all lack luster "show". After hearing of our dissatisfaction, we were contacted by Solomon, the manager, and decided to give Veneto another chance.

We were greeted promptly and warmly and immediately shown to a very nice booth in a transitional area between the lounge and dining areas. We looked over the drink menus, but nothing jumped out at me. Most likely it's because I was slightly hungover, still. Our server came to take our drink orders, a Ceaser and a Sour Apple martini, and when she left we looked at each other and rolled our eyes. She was very insincere and just came across as weird. Drinks arrive and we continue looking over the menu. This is the first time I've seen Chelsea in a month so we were chatting and it took us a while to decide. I ordered a tapas style beef entree and she selected the sliders.

It seemed like an eternity before our food was delivered, and that's because it was. Thirty minutes to get our food. Thankfully we had lots to catch up on and our drinks to tide us over. My food fell over once the clumsy food runner dropped the plate on the table, but it did look great still. Chelsea's sliders were also eye pleasing. Phony server came to check on us and we both agreed our first few tastes were fantastic. Here's my meal break down:

Dish 1: Veal ravioli with a portabella mushroom ragout and roasted garlic cream sauce
Dish 2: Red wine and thyme marinated short rib with creamy parmesan polenta cake
Dish 3: Pepper crusted New York strip with brandy and cream demi glaze

Dish 1 was pretty good. The mushrooms were flavorful and a great compliment to the mellow cream sauce. Definitely couldn't eat a whole dish of it, but tapas style is perfect for this dish. Dish 2, the one that fell over, was AMAZING. The short rib was really tender and I cut it with my fork. The polenta cake was perfect, and it absorbed the marinade nicely. This was my favorite of the three and would love to eat an entire plate of it. Dish 3 was the let down. I usually love New York strip, but left most of this on the plate. The pepper crust took over everything, and left my mouth burning. I scraped some off to try again and the strip itself was lack luster. The demi glaze would have been nice if the pepper hadn't have overpowered everything. The saving grace of dish three was the red potatoes it was served with. Over all I was really happy with my meal and was full, but not too full. For $15 it was a good value and I recommend, and will have it again.

Chelsea's AAA New York strip loin sliders were creative and original.

Dish 1: Topped with jumbo shrimp and ancho hollandaise
Dish 2: Topped with bacon, smoked applewood
Dish 3: Topped with blue cheese and spicy buffalo onions

The last of the dishes she modified, no onions for her, but instead it came with a hair. This happens, and since it was dealt with quickly and efficiently, it was not a big deal. The fake server redeemed herself and won us over with how she handled the situation. For $15 she left satisfied and happy with her choice as well.

We finished our experience off with a glass of bubbly and a visit from the manager thanking us for coming in. We filled out our comment card with our only complaint being the speed of service. Seeing as how we weren't in a hurry and had a lot to talk about this wasn't a huge concern, but if we had other plans it may have been.

In typical fashion, we decide to continue happy hour with a cocktail at The Fox. I like going there, there is always parking, lots of TV's to catch games on, and sometimes there is a good dancer and we learn a new move or two. An over priced drink and three talentless dancers later we call it a night.

A great Friday night Happy Hour with good company and food. Who could ask for anything more? Both Chelsea and myself recommend checking out Veneto Tapas Lounge in the Rialto Hotel, 1450 Douglas Street. Reservations suggested as it was pretty busy when we were there. Make them through Open Table. Visit their website to view menus and jump start your appetite.

Oops, I Did It Again...

Thursday night after teaching my class I was heading home when I got a text message from The Friend. What?? I haven't heard from him in a couple weeks, nor had I messaged him, or thought of him. He invited me over to watch a movie, and i jumped at the opportunity. He's really nice, fun, makes me feel like he gives a crap, and I was curious to see his new condo.

He gives me the tour and his condo is GORGEOUS! Great furniture, no clutter, really quiet. I'm immediately relaxed. As he's making us drinks I pick out the Blu Ray. I chose Top Gun. That movie is fantastic, and being as we've both seen it a million times I knew we wouldn't have to pay attention to it too much. We sit on the couch and he is so easy to be around! This irritates me because I know what ever there is between us will never go public. He really values his friendship with the non bf, and I really don't see him ever telling him. That makes me his dirty little secret.

Two drinks later and the movie is over. He grabs me a bottle of Gatorade and we go to his bed room. Super comfy bed, perfect temperature, just the right amount of light. It's almost like I'm in heaven, but it's real. He sets the alarm so I'll make it to work on time then wraps his arms around me. Best. Sleep. Ever.

In the morning he gets out of bed with me, gets me another Gatorade, tells me to have a nice day and kisses me good bye. What do I do with him? Tell him I'm into him? Tell him I want to see where this could go? Just enjoy the time I do spend with him? Discuss, post thoughts, and if you know who he is, see what you can find out for me.

Fishing Trips

I think it's quite obvious I'll never learn, and really, I wouldn't be entertaining if I did would I? So, online dating it is!! It's really easy for someone busy to "meet" people, and it gives me something to look forward to, sometimes. I have a few requirements that must be met before I'll even respond to a message. Don't judge me, I just know what I do, and do not, want! So here is the list:

• Must be at least six feet tall
• Must have a job
• Must have a car
• Must not live at home
• Non smoker, at all
• Not a drug user, at all
• Single...not divorced, not separated...SINGLE
• No kids!
• Must Love Dogs!!

Shallow? Maybe, but as I said, I know what I do and do not want.

IF a message meets the minimum requirements I will most likely respond. If the message is rude, just a smart ass comment about my photo, or contains nothing with thought, I will not answer! After some ever so witty banter I agree to meet the occational guy. Here is the last couple of weeks run down:

I met Average Guy at Starbucks after work. He is very average. Very nice, meets the minimum requirements, but sort of boring. He says all the right things, and even though he is a bit of a geek, we trade numbers, and I agree to see him again. We went out a few more times. Once he got me very drunk at a strip club. I love getting drunk at the strip club, but he didn't really entertain me. We went out for dinner a few times too, and watched some TV, and again, he didn't really entertain me. Is it because I compare anyone I meet to the most wonderful memories I have of past men I've dated? Maybe. Probably. I like to think it's because I just haven't met the one for me! The one that can keep me entertained, and that I'm attracted too. I'll keep looking.

I met one other guy in the past few weeks, but he was so boring I don't want to type about it!

I keep logging on to the site in hopes I'll meet the one, or even a close one. I'm giving the site till the end of November, after that I'm deleting my profile. After that I'll have to start leaving the house I guess...

The Toronto Trip

It was a fantastic trip to Toronto. I ate great food, had a fantastic time visiting my brother and good friends, and we raised some serious cash for SickKids Hospital at the Rally for Kids!

I miss the life I had when I lived there. Sleeping in, working a few hours a week, eating! There really is amazing food there. I went to the new spot in the Bell Light Box called Canteen by O&B (Oliver Bocconcini). It was late, and I still got a fantastic prosciutto sandwich with a glass of red wine. I also went to Mark McEwen's Bymark and sat on the patio. Patio season lasts longer in Toronto, and Lobster Poutine with a steak you can cut with a fork is AMAZING on a patio. They had the propane heaters turned up just right and we drank a bottle of wine with our original and perfect meals.

There is more to Toronto than just food for me! I also managed to get to two baseball games. The Jays won both! The open dome game was awesome, we had caesers and a view of the CN Tower. I love how I can walk everywhere there is always something going on. I took a long walk my last day there, even with a swollen and bruised foot (Thanks to Jack Daniels, that jerk!!). Here are a few pics of my fave places there.

The Friend

Well long email from the non bf later and I am never seeing him again. My friends were right, he is a douche.

I have lots of things planned for September. I am gong to Calgary for work, and Toronto for a fundraiser. I am very excited for both. Especially now after being completely freed of the non bf. Two days before I left for the first trip I got a message from the non bf's friend. The cute one, who came and helped me with the fundraiser, and complimented my dress, and gave me his jacket. He wanted to watch a movie. Of all the things I have planned for September this was not one of them. Who am I to say no to a movie?

He came over and gave me a hug. He never hugged me before...weird. We opened a bottle of wine and sat on the couch. He sat way too close. I honestly don't even remember what movie we watched, I wasn't paying attention. Neither was he. He's the complete opposite of his friend. He doesn't judge, he listens, he spends the night ;) He kissed me good bye in the morning and that's the last I'm seeing of him. That's right, I'm back!

I realized in the five months I was not dating that other guy I hadn't gone tanning, didn't get my nails done, didn't go to The Fox, didn't get my hair done. I wasn't me! Thank goodness one fun night with his friend reminded me who I am, and just how Charmed, Single and Fabulous I am!!

September part one

I get easily distracted and forget to write. Sorry... So here is what happened last month with the non bf.

We go to a fundraiser together for an organization he is very involved in. I show up at his house, in a dress, with curled hair, and dinner. He and I both worked all day yes, but I made a lasagna the night before, after I worked and taught. It even had his initial in it in cheese. Tragic I know. But his friend (who I've been BBMing) said it was cute and he'd like it. Well, he hardly said anything about the dress. I love this dress. So I was a little disappointed. I don't remember if he mentioned my cute hair, as I was so crushed about the dress. We ate and he took forever getting ready. We took my car downtown and tried to park. He refused to park in the lot right across the street because it was going to cost $12. WHAT???? So annoying. We find another lot, same price. Now we are late. He finds a spot someone is pulling out of. The person took a long time and he got so irritated. Not a side of him I had seen before, or liked. All this and we haven't made it to the event yet? I should have just gone home...

We finally get to the event. He has no cash so I pay at the door for both of us. A few people he work with were there. He didn't introduce me. So I BBM his friend who was also coming to see where he was. I ended up talking to him more than my date! Eventually his friend showed up. The first thing he says to me? "Nice dress!" Now that's all I wanted to hear. Why couldn't the guy I've been dating for 5 months tell me that?? We switched locations. As my date couldn't be bothered to put his arms around me to keep me warm, his friend gave me his jacket. Now why couldn't I have met his friend first?

The dress at the fund raiser.

I won't bore you with the rest of the terrible night. That and I have blocked most of it out. Let's just say my friends are right, he is a douche and I can do better. But why can't I stay away??

The Puppy

So the guy I've been seeing for 4 months is driving me crazy. Obviously. Since we have no commitment I can see other people... right? Let me fill you in on "The Puppy"

Last summer the cutest guy came into work. We started chatting, and everyone I was working with walked away...so we could be alone. He was so charming, cute, funny and we hit it off. Then he left...

I saw him a few months ago at Walmart, at 9am, wearing no make up and sweat pants. So I didn't talk to him, just ran away.

Then he came into my work again, and again and again. Then he Facebooked me.

We met up a couple weeks ago at the beach, we walked till it was too dark out. Then we went for hot wings and beer. I love hot wings and beer. Then we watched a movie. And fell asleep together. He spent the night with me with no expectations and didn't care how hot it was. It was an awesome first date.

He uses the phone to call me, and we talk! He picked me up last week to go for a drive and we ended up taking a 4 hour mission to Cowichan Lake and back. We both knew we were going to be tired but it didn't matter, we were having a good time.

He is really honest with me, he doesn't want a girl friend, but he's fun. He's sweet, he does what he says he's going to do, and I like it. The three best things about him?

1. He drives a Chevy one tonne
2. He has a twin (who I haven't met...yet)
3. He's 23

The Sleepover Saga

I mentioned to his friend while I was cleaning his house last week that we don't have sleepovers. He was shocked. And he brought it up to him. What are the reasons? Oh yes, I've got them! Apparently he's a hot sleeper. WTF. WTF. WTF. If you really like someone don't you want to sleep in the same bed with them even if you get a little hot? And does he plan on having separate beds when (IF) he gets married so he doesn't get too hot? Did he ever plan on talking about this with me, or just his friends? I'm so irritated about it. I like falling asleep AND waking up with someone I have feelings for. It isn't always the most comfortable sure, sometimes limbs fall asleep, you get hot, or you get drooled on. In the long run it's worth it. Sacrifice, adaptation, compromise, words he needs to look into. I hope he looks into them quickly...before I sleep with his friend!!

His Moving Day

He bought a new house. It's really nice and he's really excited about it. I've been letting it go that he's been so distracted, it's a major purchase and he has a lot on his mind. We've gone shopping for house stuff together, tables, carpets, decking, a shed. It's been really fun to do things as a non couple.

Moving week is here, I booked the truck for him so he could get a discount. He picked up the truck the night before and I went to help him load it up. He was so not packed. When I showed up I started the kitchen packing. After a few minutes he and his roommates left to go pick up a hot tub for the new house. They left me to pack their house, alone. WTF!? I let it go as I do enjoy a hot tub from time to time. They were gone for way longer than he said, but I had no other plans so it was ok. Eventually they made it back and we went for dinner. When we got back to the house I realized he was screwed as it was just him and his two roommates moving the next day so I offered to take the day off to help. I was there till after midnight packing and cleaning, then he said he was going to bed and walked me to my car. He didn't ask me to stay, and at this point I'm not surprised, are you??

I came to help in the morning, packed, un packed, cleaned, organized, things a gf would do. We went back to the old house to do the final clean with his friend. I had to go teach that night so I had to leave at 5:30. I vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed and brought him a sandwich. I just got it all done in time as he was wandering around taking pictures. I went to go and his friend actually had to yell at him that I was leaving. Then again to tell him he should come say good bye. He's stressed, I'm letting it go, wouldn't you?

It's almost August, and I'm going to Vegas this weekend! Yippie!!

June AND July

Ummmm, so pretty much this relationship has gone no where. We are still just texting and hanging out. There are no sleepovers, there has be no relationship defining conversation. He's so frustrating!! But, I did meet another one of his friends, and he's really nice. They both came out to help me at one of my fundraisers. Everyone assumes I'm his gf, but I'm not. I know I should just sit him down and talk about it but there's a few things that really bother me...you ready for them?

• No sleepovers... wtf??
• He walks in front of me if I meet up with him while he's working
• He won't kiss me with lip gloss on
• I've only met two of his friends, twice!
• It's all about him when we meet up and what we do

I'm done venting, thanks for listening.

I do like him, but all my friends think hes a douche. I should listen because they are usually right but he's great, the best non boy friend ever. I'll wait it out a bit longer.

May!

So we are almost caught up... I love my new lap top and internet!

I'm seeing the same guy! Yay! He's great. We text constantly, we meet up a few times a week, as much as possible, he's so sweet. We haven't spent the night together again but that's ok, I work lots and he has an important job, so he has to sleep enough and be at home. Plus I don't have a real bed, still an air matress, so I understand. I met his best friend for half an hour once too! So far this is going pretty well.

I decided to buy a bed and couch to make my awesome house on Bear Mountain even more awesome. My mom and I picked out an awesome couch and bed and she agreed to be there at my house when they get delivered. I'm pretty excited, I haven't had a real bed for years!! It's going to be like staying in a hotel every night.

March and April

I know I claimed I was going to delete my online dating profile, but I didn't. Now it's March. I meet a guy online who seems great. He's good looking in the small pictures, seems smart, has a great job, and has a dog. So far so good, but aren't they all at first? We make plans to meet at the lake with our dogs. He actually is cute in real life too! We end up staying at the lake for a while. My dog is a bit of a menace and both of us were covered in sandy mud. I don't mind getting dirty but at one point his dog totally slimed my hand and I held it out to show him what his puppy did. He grabbed my hand and wiped it off. Instantly I got a chill up my spine. I really like this guy. At dark I decide to go, I'm starving, so is the dog. We text each other pretty much immediately after leaving, flirty stuff. He tells me he didn't think I was into him, and I thought the same. I guess I get nervous when I actually like someone, weird.

We had made plans to see each other again on the weekend. We decide to go to his favourite bar, the same bar I had been at a few weeks before when I had my Superbowl Sunday Funday, oh well. I end up getting pretty drunk, his fault, he kept ordering them, and I kept drinking them. After we had gone to a dance club and danced a little and I had a couple more beers we head back to his place. I spend the night, nothing happens, but I had a really good time with him and like him more than I thought I would.

The next week I head to Las Vegas, as I often do. I like to celebrate my birthday with friends and what better place than Vegas? We text the whole entire time I'm there. I buy a toy for his dog and can't wait to get home to see him again.

When I get home I have my in town birthday dinner at the Keg, my fave place to eat. A few of my friends showed up and he accepted my invite to come as well. He sweetly suggested I pack a bag so I could drink with dinner and not drive home as he lived a block from the restaurant. Dinner was great and we headed back to his place after and finished the bottle of wine. I spent the night but still nothing happened...it's only been 3 weeks, and I really like him!

So, we text constantly over the next few weeks. He even stops by my truck and leaves a flower on it while I'm working. So sweet!! We don't have the girl friend/boy friend status but it's fine, I like him, we have fun. It's pretty exciting meeting a guy I like and have fun with. I'm just going to relax and see what happens with this one!

Superbowl Sunday Funday

I told you it's been a while since I had Internet so we are playing catch up... Here's a little back ground on this one:

When I lived in a big city in the east I dated a professional hockey player. It happens there more than people admit. I broke up with him when they got kicked out of the playoffs last year, and haven't dated anyone since. There's some history, here's some February...

So I've been single forever. I'm getting pretty sick of it. I'm now going to make an actual effort to meet a boyfriend. I meet lots of guys that I go out with once but nothing ever worth dating or taking of my clothes for. Since it's Superbowl Sunday I know boys will be out, and I planned to meet my friends at a pub. I'm also planning on talking to at least one boy.

I end up getting ridiculously drunk. Big surprise. We end up bar hopping to a few locations. Again, big surprise. the bars are at least full of men, even a few good looking ones. The only ones who I end up talking to are hockey players. Wow, bet you didn't see that one coming! It's like I'm a magnet for pro hockey players. I don't get it, but at this point, why fight fate? Who am I to question the master plan? I go with it.

We end up going back to hockey boys hotel...yes, the biggest shock of the night. I end up in room 505 with five of them. I love their persistence and team spirit, but really...it's not happening boys! We drunk dial our mutual friends and share some beauty stories. Eventually I leave and the rookie follows me to the lobby but I evade. He is, after all, the rookie. It's now three in the morning and I'm blind drunk, in a cab with and East Indian driver listening to the blues. What a suitable end to the night. I can't believe the Colts lost...

The follow up....

So I've had no internet access... I'm pretty sure that's a blessing consitering how the online dating is going!! Here's what happened on that terrible date:

I met Mr. Help Me at Milestones for drinks. Don't judge me, I get what I deserve. He has a slight lisp. He definately isn't my type. I don't find him at all attractive. He is at least tall enough, and punctual. Gotta look on the bright side right??

After punding back my bellini and orering a "special" coffee we discuss high school. We went to the same one...had the same grad year... WHAT?!?! Who is this guy?! I thought I knew everyone in our high school, it wasn't that big! I totally do not recognize him, or his name. I don't want to ask his last name in fear of seeming interested. I said don't judge me! He says he hasn't kept in touch with anyone from high school, neither have I, but seriously, who is this guy? I must find old year books at moms house.

After a third drink, a 6oz glass of Ravenswood, I'm watching the boring Oilers/Colorado game trying to figure out how I'm going to escape. Thank goodness I always bring my dog with me. I claim he needs to pee. Of course this guy parks right beside me. I told you, I get what I deserve. So now I have to let my dog out to pee in the parking lot. He goes "awwwww, hes sooooo cute" about my pup. Now he's even less attractive. Don't get me wrong, this guy seems smart, is super nice, and I'm sure he would make a fabulous husband. Definately not for me though. I don't think I could even go out with him again. Why must I live on an island? I am deleting my online dating profile the instant I find internet...

Another Online Dating Message!!

The online dating saga continues…

This one at least had an interesting subject line: “Help get me off this site”. I almost didn’t read it; I almost just deleted my profile. Curiosity killed the cat but so far I’ve been ok, so I opened it…

The first line: “Great Pictures” Wow, gee, I wasn’t going to put up crappy pictures of myself was I?? Next line: “You are definitely a very attractive woman.” By now I’ve reached for my ceaser. The rest was a typical message about how I caught his eye, asking me for a drink or two, nothing thoughtful, nothing original.

I clicked on the view profile link to see how tall he is… 6”2, my minimum height. I scroll down to see his pictures stupidly, I use my black berry so the pictures are so tiny all I can tell is he has a crappy door as his background. Not too impressive considering one of his interests is photography. His other interests include cuddling, paintballing, fantasy and learning. What??

So after all this patheticness I still respond to the message with “Drinks sound delicious. I’m free Saturday” I know I’m going to meet up with him and not be attracted to him. He listed cuddling as an interest. Who does that?? No one I can’t live with out!

On the plus side I have plans on a Saturday night with someone who isn’t going to ditch me for their loser boyfriend.