The Ex Factor

Can you, and should you, be friends with your ex when you are dating someone new? Ask almost anyone, and they will say no. I say, it depends.

Reasons to not be freinds:

• It upsets your current relationship. I have a few ex's I am civil with, and when I am dating someone, if it makes them uncomfortable, I alter my interactions with them. I no longer call or text them daily, I don't have meals with them, and I make sure I let them know I'm seeing someone who I care about. It's a respect thing, and since I respect my current relationship I make sure I do everything to make them comfortable. 
• It leads your ex on. Until your ex realizes you are actually with someone else they think there is always a chance you'll get back together. This isn't fair to you, your ex, or the person you are currently dating. Being friends with them leaves their foot in the door, so kick it out.
• Poison.  Your ex knows you really well, and knows whats best for you, right? I mean, they put up with you and looked after you for how long?? Look at all they went through with you, why wouldn't they know whats best? Right? Wrong. Their opinion is just that, an opinion. And it should stay in their heads, and not be put into yours. You may say it won't affect your decisions, but honestly, it's poison, a slow acting poison working to ruin your happiness. And it's not just your happiness at stake here, your new relationship deserves more.
• It's hard to move on. If you have a constant reminder of all the happy times and laughs you had together you can never truly give yourself to your new relationship. Keeping the memories in the past, with your ex is the best way to appreciate what you did have, how it made you grow, and what you can do differently in your next relationship.

Now the good stuff, the reasons to be friends with your ex! 

• You want your ex back. So obviously you shouldn't be dating anyone else, should you?

Well as you can see I'm absolutely hell bent against being friends with your ex. I know it's a very small world and I am not saying don't be a total dick to them, I'm just saying don't be friends. Being civil when you see them in public is good, posting on their FaceBook profile weekly is bad. Asking about their family when you run into them is good, making a lunch date to catch up and fill them in on your second cousins hang nail is bad. You see where I'm going with this? If you really want to give your new relationship a chance, don't do it.