What Should I have Said?

As a single girl I get all sorts of messages. Let me give you a sample from a Facebook Friend:

Feb 22: Hey beautiful (Me, no response)
Mar 11: U were looking really good the other day sexy! Hope all is well? We should have a drink or grab something to eat sometime? Well talk to you later. Cheers (I had driven through his work parking lot with my brother and waved. I did not respond to this message)
Mar 14: Hello sexy! (Again, I shockingly did not answer)
Apr 2: Hello ***... You never return my messages beautiful? Are we still homies or what? Lol what's ur number ? Get back to me for once would ya... 250-***-**** hope all is well?
Cheers **** (This time I answered with:)
Apr 2: They're just usually inappropriate, so I ignore them.

Was I offside? Getting messages from someone you used to work with calling you beautiful and sexy and asking me for a drink or something to eat just weirds me out.  I'm not at all interested in him, so what should I have said? Was ignoring them the wrong thing to do? I've gotten others that I've ignored too, 6 just as uncomfortable in the last 2 months from others. I thought not answering was just like not making eye contact and walking away in real life. Wrong? Obviously. Why do they send these messages in the first place?! If someone knows what I've been doing to attract unwanted messages from people I thought were friends please let me know. I'd love to stop such behavior. Like on Saturday...

I went out with a girl friend to eat some pub fare and play music bingo. (BYOBD next time! Bring your own Bingo Dabbers!) We were having a good time, talking about how our exes are ridiculous, debating whether I should message a guy or wait for him to process recent events, discovering we both went out with the same (really nice but we just weren't attracted to him) guy we met on a dating website, just generally enjoying our Saturday night. Then, WHAMMO, this guy came up to the table and starting talking to us. I knew him, well, I knew his twin brother. I told him I knew his brother, yet he still hung out at our table for hours! It was a little entertaining for a while but his friends were wasted, one fell asleep at a table, and that's not the night we were into. My friend drove home (she only had 2 drinks all night, amazing will power!) and I walked home with my dog (yes, he does come everywhere). As I carried my gold glittery heels in one hand and flowers from a drunk stranger in the other I wondered, what made him sit there ALL night with us? Neither one of us waved him over, neither one of us were leaving with him, so why? Our fine city has six women to every man, did he not know this? Or were we just that fabulous? What vibe do we put off to attract this? What should I have said to make him not stay there all night? (Even though he did help out a little at music bingo, and his drunk friend did buy us flowers and stuffed animals that our dogs loved! ha!) Is there rules? Is there a script? Did I miss a memo?!

As I sit here, alone with my dog, drinking a glass of wine, I can't help but think of all the things I wish I had said to men in the past. From "F*ck Off" to "I'm Sorry" I should have said it all, but I haven't always been that open. I never regret anything that made me smile, so I don't regret not saying these things, but boys be warned: I'll now be telling you exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. Never ask a question you don't want the answer too...

Do You Want To Smell My Candles?

I go to bed early, mostly because I have nothing else to do. Also because I get up really early for work. When my phone beeped at 8:30 I was already in bed, but I read it anyway. It was from The Friend. I almost want to rename him now, since The Non Boy Friend is so out of my life The Friend doesn't make sense. I guess he can stay The Friend until he deserves another name.

The Friend was a little drunk, and his messages were cute, flirty and funny. He wanted to go to Wendy's but couldn't drive, so he asked me if I wanted to make bad choices. I asked how a bacon burger could ever be a bad choice, and he explained that he was the bad choice. I laughed and said yes, I'll be right there! I got out of bed and headed to go pick him up, no make up, sweat pants and a hoodie. He got in the car and we headed to Wendy's. He wanted to eat in the restaurant so we went in. I always am very relaxed around him. I never feel stupid or judged. I have fun, and laugh, and he laughs too. We ate and got back in the car. Since we were just a minute from the lagoon I wanted to go down to the water. It was a clear night, and the ocean under the stars is absolutely fantastic.

We pulled into a spot on the lagoon and hung out for a bit. He is so easy to talk to and be around. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I had made a decision not to spend the night with him, ever again, but he wasn't making it easy. Thankfully someone parked right beside us so we left. As I pulled into his condo parking lot I stopped by his door, far away front he parking lot. He asked if I wanted to come in and smell his candles and cuddle. How could I not say yes to that? We went upstairs and laid on his bed. His candles did smell pretty good. I fell asleep in his arms for an hour or so and woke up when he kissed my on the forehead. I told him I was going home, he got up to walk me to the door and kiss me good bye. He said he'd talk to me soon, and I believe him. Of all the guys I know I trust him the most. He isn't fake, he does the things he says he will. He may not want to be my boy friend, but he doesn't pretend to want to be either.

So to answer one of my past questions: Am I only attracted to unavailable men? Yes. But I never regret anything that made me smile.