Wine is my New Boy Friend

I have more than enough stories of The Bed Makers poor decisions to write a book. From midnight walks with unattractive fitness instructors to emailing ex flames in other countries saying I wasn't the one "but she'll do till you're ready" this beauty has done it all to me. He texted many a young girl, took one skiing while I looked after his dog, tried to hide his ex's phone number in his phone under his work number, went away with his classy friends where they cheated on their wives and girlfriends. He lied about stupid things, he lied about major things, he lied about a lot of things, but never about loving me. He tells me still he wants to work on us and be with me, but he claims he's damaged and needs to sort him self out. He comes over, does my dishes, folds my laundry then tells me he's interested in someone else, after spending the evening with me. Then he refuses to leave, and spends the night cuddling me. The moment things got rough with us he rekindles his friendship with his boring, overly conservative, extremely cheap ex. (The one he lied to about me, and me about her) I could go on and on about the crap he's done, but why? The Bed Maker is officially my ex-boyfriend. It sucks to admit that. It sucks to know I'd take him back in a half a heartbeat. It sucks the most to just want him to be happy, even if it's with some flakey trollop who could never care for him like I can. I'd just prefer him to be happy. So enough of dwelling on his indiscretions, I've let them all go. I know it was never about me, it was always his garbage. I clearly deserved better treatment than I got, and I expect going forward I will be treated better. I already have my new love interest in my sites...

It's wine. Wine is my new boy friend. Wine is always there when I need it. I can get many varieties of wine. Red, sparkling, white, cheap, expensive, young or old. I can have lots of wine, or just a taste. I am in control with wine. If I want to feel bad the next day about my night with wine, I can, I just have to order that second bottle! If I want to feel fantastic, I just get a rare bottle and enjoy it with friends. That's the best part about my new boy friend...my friends LOVE it too!! I don't get "oh, you can do better" because I can't!! I never hear from a friend of a friends dog groomer that MY wine has been canoodling some chick at a Saanich restaurant/pub, because MY wine doesn't go to such scum bag, skank filled establishments! My wine is where ever I am. it doesn't go out without me! My wine likes to join me at nice restaurants. My wine would never stay out all night with its friends, then get a ride home with a slutty single mother (who's slept with more than one of his friends) at 4 am with no shoes because he's thrown them into a tree. Who throws a shoe, let alone two!! And I digress... Lets bring this back to what this is about: Wine.

Since I'm back to being Charmed and Single I hope you'll read my adventures with wine. And Qoola. I love that stuff. I hope you'll all hold me accountable for the list of things I'm planning on doing this year, as Charmed and Single. Share what your 2012 goals are with me! I'll help you out with them if you help me with mine!!
My 2012 Things To Do

• Drink a different bottle of wine once a month with a friend. Probably eat cheese with said wine. Or steak. Meat is fantastic.
• Attend one Moksha Yoga class a month. While I am teaching about 14 hours a week this year on top of my full time day job and part time bartending job I really feel yoga is needed in my life. Once a month is possible!
• Call my out of town friends. Not BBM, not text, CALL. At least once a month. My out of town friends have proven to be the most loyal, supportive, encouraging and positive people in my life. They deserve more.
• Read a new book every month. I usually read one anyway. But I'm hoping you'll share what you're reading, then I can read it too, and we can get together and talk about it...with wine.
• Once a month: Girls night. OK, guys can come too. But once a month get my friends together and do something. Probably with wine. I tend to work and hide in bed instead of being social. This needs to stop!
• Las Vegas. April 5th to 9th and in December. Happy Birthday to me in April! You're all welcome to join me.
• Do one Video Blog. YIKES! This one scares me. It's so much easier to hide behind the letters! Topic ideas for this?? Share! Help me out!

Happy New Year! I hope 2012 is amazing for everyone. If it is the last year the world turns, lets make the most of it!! XOXO

Mission Hill Family Estates Cellar. A-Maz-ing. Anyone up for a road trip this summer?

I LOVE My Friends

Social media is the devil. I don't like to be Facebook friends with people I don't know very well. I use the limited profile for business contacts and anyone else I just get to know the real them first, and they me, then I add. I added The Bed Maker after another great day with him. It's a pretty big thing for me, but I took the step and let him see my profile.
He came over for dinner the day after, and mentioned he found my blog. Damn. It's my own fault. I should have never added the link on my profile. My friends know the stories first hand, so it wasn't a big deal if they read it. Having him read it though...little different. He was different, and quiet for most of the night. So was I. I couldn't stop my thinking about what he read, how he interpreted it, how he reacted. I felt pretty bad. Then I realized, I was having a feeling! I don't seem to care about men very much. I haven't dated anyone since I lived in Toronto almost two years ago. I would like to blame the West Coast Men, but at some point I'll have to admit: its me. I really can't stand the thought of being hurt, ever again. This makes me so guarded no one knows how I feel, including me. Usually this facade works well, I have fun, I work hard, I play harder, I find new fun elsewhere before I let myself get attached. The cycle continues. I don't know how long I could go on like this for but I think it should stop. The sound of his voice when he brought it up made me realize my walls don't just affect me, they affect the people in my life. He definitely doesn't deserve that.
I did what all girls do today and asked my girl friends what they thought. Here is what they said, and my responses now that I've had time to ponder their amazingly honest and appreciated comments:

CB: "It sounds like you're dating three guys and not happy with any of them, but like The Friend most"
Me: Hmm, yes it does after a second read. Perception really is everything, and I didn't see it till after, but it's the first thing CB thought. Since I've met TBM he's the only person I've seen, or wanted to see. I've stayed up way too late and gotten up way to early just to spend a few hours with him. No where did I say that, I just knew it. Did I just expect him to read my mind? Apparently.

KB: "You met a boy you can hang out with more than twice?"
Me: Yes I did, and I have nooooo idea what to do about it. At this point I'm thinking talking to friends was a flawed plan. No one quite knows how to take me when I'm trying to be serious and talk feelings.

LA: "He helps you make the bed in the morning, that's why I named him The Bed Maker. He makes you laugh, and you both have fun. No guy that makes your bed, laughs and has fun is really going to care too much about what you wrote in a blog."
Me: Sure hope so. He did say he wasn't going to read it ever again, but that doesn't make what he did read go away. Why is it such a big deal to me that he helps me make my bed, and dinner, and empty my dishwasher? The simple things really do matter I guess. Diamonds do too though, lets never forget that.

LC: "He's hot."
Me: Yes, he is, stop creeping him on FB please.

What have I learned from this weekend? Mimosa's are bottomless on Sundays, my friends are amazing and I need them more than they'll ever know, and I actually like The Bed Maker. Enough to put myself out there and see where it goes with him? We'll just have to wait and see, but I'm going to try. I did invite him to my staff Christmas function, that's something...

Life After Fishing

I did it! I deleted my online dating profile. Not because I met the man of my dreams, not because I'm even seeing someone, just because it had to be done. After months and months of terrible messages I'm very glad it's over. I had set the criteria so only users within my parametres could message me, but they still managed to get by it. I was looking for someone who was single, within 10 km's, and no children. I would daily get messages from men and after a few responses back and forth they'd end up saying they're separated, thier kids only are with them on weekends, and they live in Naniamo. What?? Why would you think I was interested in getting to know someone who couldn't tell the truth on simple questions like: "Marital Status" or "Do You Have Children?"
I guess my online experience hasn't been a complete waste of time. I did meet Five Minutes Late and The Bed Maker. I still talk to both of these sweet guys but of course it's gone no where with either. I'm obviously expecting too much from men in general. I mean, what kind of selfish girl wants to go out on a real date and not just come over to your house at 11:00pm to hang out?
I have been talking to The Friend quite a bit lately. He also is a guy who likes to just watch movies and sit around at night. I can't say I blame him too much as he doesn't want The Non BF to know about our involvement. So when I texted him on Friday night imagine my surprise when I got a message back from a number not stored in my phone saying: "I'm with (The Friend). What's with the text??" Ummm, uh oh! I had deleted The Non BF's number months ago so I wouldn't drunk dial, so when I replied with "Who is this?" he got a little upset. Apparently The Non was holding The Friends phone at the exact time I messaged him. I ended up sending a few messages back and forth between the both of them. I also had to re read them all in the morning to make sure I hadn't said anything I'd regret. I'm still a little hurt about The Non, but I definitely don't want to do anything worse to jeopardise their friendship. I know it's not my friendship to ruin, but I do care about both of them. My plan is just deny, deny, deny if The Non BF asks, and to keep seeing The Friend on the sly. Apparently he doesn't suspect anything, and that's pretty funny considering what he does for work. I know if he asked me to my face he would see right through me though. Sigh.
Well, It's holiday party season, time to get out into the real world and meet "The One". Wish me luck

Cake, Breakfast, and Bed Making

The Bed Maker is excellent at using the telephone. He calls when he says he is going to, and calls with no reason! He messages at all the right times, not just when it's good for him. It's amazing to have someone talk to me when it's good for me, not just him. He makes time for me, and has changed plans with his friends so he could see me. I am pretty busy, and since he wanted to see me he changed his plans so he could. I've been to his place a few times and him to mine. It's pretty even, and we have a good time together.

It was his Birthday last week. He went out with some friends for dinner. I found out they didn't get him a cake, or pay for his dinner even! No one should go with out Birthday cake!! I called him Saturday to invite him over for cake. I told him I was making him a Birthday cake and he sounded really excited. He came over and we hung out while the cake baked and cooled. I had made angel food cake and got strawberries and raspberries. we tried to make whipped cream, but since I don't have a hand mixer we tried to use a fork. This was a bad plan. We ended up going to the store and buying a can of whipped cream. While we were there he grabbed breakfast stuff. He had promised me breakfast last weekend but we didn't end up with time for it. He remembered, and followed through on his promise.

So I'm pretty bad at relationships, or at least defining them. So what is my next step? Am I really that girl who over analyzes everything? Should I just relax. I'm panicking because my online dating profile deletion dead line is tomorrow. Maybe I'll just relax and see what happens. How many times have I said this? Anyways, back to my date,

In the morning he made me an awesome breakfast. And he helped me make the bed.

The Bed Maker (TBM)

As my dead line of deleting my online dating profile creeps closer, I exchange messages with another boy. He sent me many messages, all of them more than one sentence. They had solid content, He actually seemed to be trying to get to know me. Eventually we started texting each other. He was away in Arizona and we texted while he was there. We made plans to meet up when he got back . He suggested going indoor rock climbing for our first date. When I mentioned I have climbed before he rescinded, he didn't want to look bad. It was cute. Eventually I propose going bowling in Duncan. He agreed it was a fantastic idea. We sorted out the details and I was looking forward to it. I love road trips, even if they are just to Duncan!

Date day arrives and he messages me all freaked out. It's his first time meeting someone on line and he is worried I'm really an ogre or something. I laughed and sent him a couple pictures from my work email. Now he knows my last name and where I work. I hope he isn't a physco! Apparently he was OK with the pictures I sent and he picks me up right on time and opens the door to his truck for me. (A GMC Sierra, with heated seats!! Awesome!!) During the drive up he was really easy to talk to, he made me laugh, and there were no awkward silences. He asked lots of questions and had no problem answering any of mine. We bowled three games and he let me win the last one. He asked if I wanted to play pool, and I said yes. We ended up at the Log House. They don't have a pool table, but they had drinks. He drove me home and I invited him in for one more drink. I poured it extra strong so he wouldn't be able to drive home. Man I'm sneaky. He opened the car door for me all night, was really polite, listened, told the truth about everything (Even about being married before). I had a great night and just didn't want it to end.

In the morning he was really sweet, still. He made my bed... I always make my bed in the morning, but today he helped me. It was nice having someone help me with something! He also fed Mac and took him outside and played with him while I got ready. All with out me asking. Nice guys do exist!! TBM asked me when he was going to see me again. I told him that was up to him. So he asked me if I wanted to have breakfast Saturday. TBM made plans with me. He wants to see me. I know this was one date, but it was one really good date! As I've wrote this he has messaged me twice and phoned me when he said he would. Wow.

The one thing I hate the most about being single is having to take out my own garbage. I know TBM would take out the garbage for me. Is he too good to be true? Or have I found Mr. Right Now?